• “Cop: I’m arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia.” Man: “Wait! I can explain everything!”

  • My friend couldn’t afford to pay his bill, so I sent him a “Get Well Soon” card.

  • I’m Buzz Aldrin, second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.

  • Why was 2019 afraid of 2020? Because they had a fight and 2021.

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